13 Reasons Why (My Version)

13 reasons why

13 Reasons Why is an American series based on the 2007 novel with the same title by Jay Asher. The story revolves around Clay Jensen and his friend, Hannah Baker, a girl who took her own life after suffering a series of demoralizing circumstances brought on by select individuals at her school. A box of cassette tapes recorded by Hannah before her suicide details thirteen reasons why she ended her life.

These past few days, I’ve been having sleepless nights for reasons I can’t figure out. I know that there is nothing wrong with me because I still know what is happening around me and I am still in control of my actions. Although lately, I’ve noticed that I eat a lot, I don’t wanna go out of my room, I don’t want to talk to a lot of people and I would rather sleep than interact with others. I’ve tried searching symptoms online and this is what I found.

  • Everyone annoys you.
  • You’re hungry.
  • Your stomach hurts.
  • Your skin breaks out
  • Your heart races
  • You got headaches.
  • You’re always tired.
  • Cold sores or Canker sores pop up.

I got 7 out of the 8 signs that I am stressed. I am trying to figure out though where is this coming from. It could be from work, family, friends or love life. To be honest, I’ve considered talking to someone about my situation. You might find it weird but yeah, I’ve considered seeking professional help like a doctor or a counselor.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no plans of ending my life. I just want to find out where this “self phenomenon” is coming from. Just today, I tried listing names of people who might be responsible for this stress. I know I should not blame this to anyone but we have to face the fact that most of the time, this is triggered by a person.

Disclaimer: I will not be mentioning the real names of these people because I don’t want to cause any trouble. I just want to document this phase of my life by writing it here on my blog.

I know. I am crazy. Who isn’t?

D.

 

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An Open Letter To Some People Who Don’t Like Conversations (Part 1)

I’m actually still having thoughts if I will continue with this entry or not. To begin with, the main reason why I want to write about whatever this I’m writing is to let these things out of my chest. Since the people involved are not fans of serious conversations unless it’s about their lives, I’ve decided to just write about them and my experiences with them here.

conrad

Dear Valentine : Or should I say Ex-Valentine.

February 14, 2018 should’ve been our first anniversary, only if that I’m cheesy and assuming. You might be wondering what happened that day, let me take you back to Valentine’s Day 2017.

Our friendship went on a hiatus phase from October 2016 to the early days of February 2017. On February 14, 2017 you saw me walking along a busy street and you asked me where am I going. I told you that I’m just going to run some errands and you offered to walk me through. Right after, you invited me for lunch. We went to this Mexican restaurant and when we sat down you mentioned, ” Uy Valentine’s Day pala today, tayo pa magkasama”. And I never thought that it will be the start of something special. Remember we had this fight when I got back from Singapore?, that moment, I felt that you value what we had and you value me as a person. I did not expect that we would be closer after that incident. Your Viber messages would start my day in the morning and end my day at night. You would surprise me everyday from the sweetest note to the yummiest snack. We were inseparable and I’m pretty sure that something so special like that would bring us somewhere and it is very impossible to end it.

But as they say, All good things come to an end. The messages went from seldom to none. The sweet notes, the snack, even the hanging out all disappeared. I don’t know if it’s because of that something that we agreed on or was it because of that little secret. I thought we made it very clear from the start that this is what we wanted and as mature individuals, we will stick together and face our future together as friends. It took me 2 months to come to my senses and feel that I was somehow betrayed by someone who I treated dearly. Yes, I was hurt and it hurts so much every single day that I see you and you didn’t even say you were sorry. You know that you’ve hurt me and you know that this will happen but you didn’t do anything. You didn’t even bother to stop whatever was happening for our friendship’s sake. There were 2 questions I wanted to ask you that time: When are you planning to talk to me and tell everything and Did you just play with my emotions? I was so disappointed that I’m close to that point that you will not exist in my life anymore.

Good thing I know you already. I know how you treat your problems and how you treat people as well. And it’s very hard for you to say sorry but your actions say otherwise. You  are a living testament that action speaks louder than words. From the day that I’ve started talking to you again, you’ve exerted so much effort to show how sorry you were and how you always wanted us to go back to our old “us”. Sorry is very important to me but you were also important that it doesn’t matter anymore if I hear it from you or not as long as I feel your sincerity and remorse. I’ve forgiven you but I haven’t forgotten what happened yet. I know it will take time but at least I’m getting there, we are getting there. I just hope one day, you’ll find that courage to own up your mistakes and talk to me about what really happened. No more secrets. No more hiding. No more lies. Only the truth for a friendship that I know is very real. I’ll be waiting…

 

Still trying to understand everything,

D.

#AskLYNDON 1

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19 May 2017

Dear Define Don,

Hello! I find it weird that I am actually asking this to you. I am Gino 27 years old and currently working as a Med rep in Ortigas. Please don’t publish my real name. I’ve been having these questions for about years now. It all started when I became friends with Dustin, another med rep from our company. Most of the people from our area are aware that Dustin is not a straight guy. It’s just that no one would dare to ask him about his sexuality. We knew each other for 5 years already since we were 1 wave away from each other. He’s from Wave 12 and I’m from Wave 11. We would normally see each other during area meetings or outings. Just last 2015, we attended a seminar together, he talked to me and that started our close friendship. Suddenly, he’ll message me on Facebook, sometimes he will use the office email to have a conversation with me. We would have lunch together if we’re in the same area. This went on for months, then there’s this one night our area had a party and we all got drunk. He asked me if I could join him in his car to sleep for a bit. Inside the car, we talked about our personal lives. I’ve shared to him the stories of my family and my last relationship, he was just listening. When I thought he was asleep, I told him I like him. At first he didn’t say anything. I repeat it and he said “Yeah, I know…”. He looked at me then I kissed him, he didn’t stop me then we went back to the party. We didn’t talk for 4 days after that kissing thing. When we started taking again, it’s as if nothing happened. I would try to ignore his messages and calls but he’s really persistent. Honestly, I could tell with his actions that he likes me too but what do you think is the reason why he can’t say it? What do you think is the problem with Dustin? This is really weird but I can’t wait for your thoughts on this.

– Gino

Hey Gino! Thank you for sharing your story. Just so you know, your story is the first ever #AskLyndon entry. It’s 2 months late though, I haven’t checked my email until today. Sorry.

Ok, this is a very difficult situation to be in. I mean, it’s like reading between not so clear lines. Good thing and Bad thing, let’s start with the good thing.

We should always trust our instincts because most of the time we are correct. So if you feel that Dustin likes you too, there’s a big possibility that he really likes you. The bad thing is that there is a small percentage that he is just a “pa-fall” guy, there are lots of people like them out there. If you are to ask me, Yes, I can see that he likes you also. There might be some things that stopping him to admit his feelings for you. First, you’ve mentioned that he is a closet gay. That is one of the most stressful feelings ever. He might be having troubles with his family and coming out of the closet will just add more stress. Second, he might be the type of person who is not yet ready to commit. He might be enjoying his journey being single. Third, He might experienced a bad past relationship and he is just being careful this time. Fourth, he might be in a relationship now and he just wants to be friends with you. And lastly, he might just be waiting for the right time. Remember: Timing is everything.

Maybe you can try these things.

  • ASK. There are lots of questions running in your mind and Dustin’s answers will give your speculations a rest. This is the best thing to do.
  • WAIT. You can just wait for him to confess his feelings for you. So if you’re not in a hurry, you have all the time in the world. You’ll never know it might be worth the wait.
  • SAY GOODBYE. Move on and and forget your feelings for him. There are lots of fishes in the sea. Lol. 😀 On a serious note, you might be just wasting your time waiting for nothing.

At the end of the day, it’s still you who will decide what to do in this episode of your life. If ever you guys will end up together I know you would be happy, if not, then learn from this experience and make sure not to commit the same mistake again in the future.

So there, I hope I’ve helped you with your question and not confuse you even more. By the way, I picked a song for you. 🙂 This song suits your story.

Always follow your heart,

D.

#AskLYNDON

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Hi Guys! If you’re following me on Instagram, maybe you’ve noticed that I posted something about #Ask Lyndon last April 2017 (For those who are not yet following me, what are you waiting for? Follow : @lyndonmartin both on Instagram and Twitter).

You might be thinking what got in to me and I opened my Blog for this kind of  stuff. Oh well, ever since I was a kid, when people go to me and ask for my idea, opinion or even solution from the most simple to the most complex things, there’s a different sense of fulfillment within me. You might find it weird but i feel it’s my way of touching their lives (cricket sound). Lol.

Anyway, this portion of my blog is basically for me to answer all your questions. It could be the trend, food, destination, tips in traveling or personal problems/issues. it could be a one question, one answer type or the “LOVE NOTES ala Joe D’ Mango” type. You can even ask me the most non-sense question and I will try to answer everything.

You may reach me through:

Twitter : @lyndonmartin

Instagram : @lyndonmartin

Email : definedon@yahoo.com

Looking forward to help you,

D.