19 May 2017
Dear Define Don,
Hello! I find it weird that I am actually asking this to you. I am Gino 27 years old and currently working as a Med rep in Ortigas. Please don’t publish my real name. I’ve been having these questions for about years now. It all started when I became friends with Dustin, another med rep from our company. Most of the people from our area are aware that Dustin is not a straight guy. It’s just that no one would dare to ask him about his sexuality. We knew each other for 5 years already since we were 1 wave away from each other. He’s from Wave 12 and I’m from Wave 11. We would normally see each other during area meetings or outings. Just last 2015, we attended a seminar together, he talked to me and that started our close friendship. Suddenly, he’ll message me on Facebook, sometimes he will use the office email to have a conversation with me. We would have lunch together if we’re in the same area. This went on for months, then there’s this one night our area had a party and we all got drunk. He asked me if I could join him in his car to sleep for a bit. Inside the car, we talked about our personal lives. I’ve shared to him the stories of my family and my last relationship, he was just listening. When I thought he was asleep, I told him I like him. At first he didn’t say anything. I repeat it and he said “Yeah, I know…”. He looked at me then I kissed him, he didn’t stop me then we went back to the party. We didn’t talk for 4 days after that kissing thing. When we started taking again, it’s as if nothing happened. I would try to ignore his messages and calls but he’s really persistent. Honestly, I could tell with his actions that he likes me too but what do you think is the reason why he can’t say it? What do you think is the problem with Dustin? This is really weird but I can’t wait for your thoughts on this.
Hey Gino! Thank you for sharing your story. Just so you know, your story is the first ever #AskLyndon entry. It’s 2 months late though, I haven’t checked my email until today. Sorry.
Ok, this is a very difficult situation to be in. I mean, it’s like reading between not so clear lines. Good thing and Bad thing, let’s start with the good thing.
We should always trust our instincts because most of the time we are correct. So if you feel that Dustin likes you too, there’s a big possibility that he really likes you. The bad thing is that there is a small percentage that he is just a “pa-fall” guy, there are lots of people like them out there. If you are to ask me, Yes, I can see that he likes you also. There might be some things that stopping him to admit his feelings for you. First, you’ve mentioned that he is a closet gay. That is one of the most stressful feelings ever. He might be having troubles with his family and coming out of the closet will just add more stress. Second, he might be the type of person who is not yet ready to commit. He might be enjoying his journey being single. Third, He might experienced a bad past relationship and he is just being careful this time. Fourth, he might be in a relationship now and he just wants to be friends with you. And lastly, he might just be waiting for the right time. Remember: Timing is everything.
Maybe you can try these things.
- ASK. There are lots of questions running in your mind and Dustin’s answers will give your speculations a rest. This is the best thing to do.
- WAIT. You can just wait for him to confess his feelings for you. So if you’re not in a hurry, you have all the time in the world. You’ll never know it might be worth the wait.
- SAY GOODBYE. Move on and and forget your feelings for him. There are lots of fishes in the sea. Lol. 😀 On a serious note, you might be just wasting your time waiting for nothing.
At the end of the day, it’s still you who will decide what to do in this episode of your life. If ever you guys will end up together I know you would be happy, if not, then learn from this experience and make sure not to commit the same mistake again in the future.
So there, I hope I’ve helped you with your question and not confuse you even more. By the way, I picked a song for you. 🙂 This song suits your story.
Always follow your heart,