I’ve been thinking of a perfect Valentine’s day entry since one of my new year’s resolutions for this blog is to be updated. And the perfect time to discuss this topic is on the eve of the hearts’ day.
Love. Lust. Infatuation. We are often confused with these three states. Do I really love that person? Is it just lust? Am I infatuated? All these and more.
Let us try to differentiate them from one another by sharing to you some of my friends’ stories.
Noun. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
I’ve been in hanging-out with this person for 3 years already. It all started with a small talk. Next thing I know, my day is not complete without a glimpse of him. We were inseparable until this new employee entered the picture. LOVE started to change. Our usual breakfast and lunch together are now group breaks. Until one day, LOVE didn’t invite me for lunch. To make it worse, guess what? LOVE is having lunch with the new employee. That day I realized, I am just the only one who thought that the friendship is something special. I started ignoring LOVE and it went on for years. Until last year, I don’t know why all of a sudden we became closer than before. I’m afraid we might end up hating each other if I will insist with the idea that we can be more than friends. What should I do? I don’t want us to fall apart. Ever. – Lover Boy.
Lover Boy, it might be a friendship kind of love or a sibling kind of love or a romantic kind of love. Yes, it is love. Looks like this is the best kind of love, where in you give and expect nothing in return. The fact that you show affection and concern towards “LOVE”, it is indeed the crazy little thing called love. Did you even notice how many “loves” I mentioned? Lol. :p
Noun. Intense or uncontrolled sexual desire or appetite.
I started dating LUST 3 months ago. I know you will agree with me that the getting to know each other stage is the best part of dating. LUST will text me everyday. He will wake me up by calling my mobile phone every morning. It went on for a month and I must admit, I really thought that LUST is the person I’ve been praying for. One night, LUST invited me to his condo unit for a movie marathon. I know that something will happen and I felt that I am ready for that moment. In the middle of the movie, LUST started kissing me and stuff. After that night, LUST started to change. The calls and texts became seldom. Then LUST invited me for a sleepover and started doing things with me again. I don’t know why I suddenly feel that he only wants “THAT” to happen. I stopped LUST and drove myself home. After that night, there were no phone calls and text messages anymore. It’s been 4 weeks already and I haven’t heard anything from LUST. Help! – Lustious Malfoy.
Lustious Malfoy, obviously, brighter than the led lights, SEX is all that he wanted. The moment that he suddenly changed after the first night, you should’ve got the signal already. It’s like at first, he will let you feel that he is into you but once you take the bait, that’s the end of it. You are correct, it is just lust and you should not feel sorry that he found his way out of your world. Such a D-Bag!
Noun. Strong but not usually lasting feelings of love and attraction.
It all started in junior year. INFATUATION is the new kid in school. He is just a plain John. INFATUATION doesn’t look good at all to begin with and I actually don’t care about him. One day, while waiting for my brother, I saw him walking. I don’t know what I was thinking that time and I called him. We had a small talk and I felt something with the way INFATUATION looked at me that very moment. Days passed and nothing happened from the time we talked. I was surprised though that he greeted me on my birthday and that started our text flirting which went on for months. Then summer came and I didn’t hear from him. Senior year, it was all hi and hello and some texting. After graduation, the texting continues. And then we started hanging out. We eat lunch and have coffee together. The texting became calling. My day is literally incomplete if I don’t see INFATUATION. One night, INFATUATION told me that he likes me, I didn’t answer. All I know is that we kissed that night. Days went on and I can’t stop thinking about INFATUATION every day and every night. It came to a point that I started ignoring him just so that he will not feel that I am starting to like him. Then one day, I woke up and the happy feeling is not there anymore. We still talk and hang out but it’s totally different now. What do you think happened? – InPHATkate
InPHATkate, as I saw it, you enjoyed the attention and time that he gave you. It’s normal that we try to reciprocate the gesture but it doesn’t mean that the feeling is mutual. Maybe you were just interested with the person and then the intensity of the magic died down. It is infatuation I bet you. We seldom misinterpret this feeling with love but we are just infatuated. It’s confusing. Just enjoy the moment while it last.
Most of the time we thought that it is love but in reality, it is just lust. We thought it is just lust but it is infatuation. The best part? All along we thought it was an infatuation but it is already love. Whatever it is that we feel, as long as it makes us happy, let’s go for it. We only have one shot in this lifetime so might as well make the best out of it.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Guys!